Advertisement

Miscarriage in Light of Islam

topic posted Mon, March 12, 2007 - 12:55 PM by  Salihah
Share/Save/Bookmark
My baby died last Monday, and the miscarriage is beginning today. One week later. This is my 3rd miscarriage. Alhamdulillah, I have other children that are with me, and 3 in Jannah, but I miss those 3. I read the following, and it was helpful to me. I wanted to share it, insha'Allah, it may be of comfort to another in this situation...

In the Musnad of `Abd ibn Humayd from Mu`adh, the Prophet said: "No two Muslims lost three children except Allah will cause the parents to enter Paradise through the favor of His mercy toward them." They said, "What about two, Messenger of Allah?" He said, "Two also." They said, "And one?" He said, "Even the miscarried child will certainly drag its mother and father with its umbilical cord to Paradise!"


In Ahmad, al-Tirmidhi, and Ibn Majah, the Prophet (saw) said: "Whoever sends forth two or three children that never reached puberty, they will be for him and her, a strong fortress [in the hereafter]."


"Your little ones are the larvas of Paradise. They will meet their parents and grab them by their garments or their hands to no end other than that Allah will enter them Paradise." Sahih Muslim.


The only time Fudayl ibn `Iyad was ever seen smiling was after the death of his child and his reply to those around him was: "Allah loved something and I love what Allah loved."


Allah Most High creates us and appoints lifespans. He tests us through ease and hardship {and with hardship goes ease} (94:5-6), expiating our sins and raising us in His presence. {And surely We shall try you with something of fear and hunger, and loss of wealth and lives and crops; but give glad tidings to the steadfast, Who say, when a misfortune strikes them: Lo! we belong to Allah and Lo! unto Him we are returning. Such are they on whom are blessings from their Lord, and mercy. Such are the rightly guided} (2:155-157).


Time brings solace but the first shock is the test as it naturally inspires rebellion against the Divine decree. The Believer has protection against this normal impulse as Allah Most High said: “No calamity befalls save by Allah's leave. And whosoever believes in Allah, He guides his heart” (64:11).


In al-Bukhari, al-Nasa'i and Ahmad, the Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam)said, upon him peace: "Allah Glorious and Mighty says, 'There is not for My believing servant any other reward, when I seize His dearly beloved among the people of this world and s/he bears it expecting compensation, except Paradise.'"


Until the Prophet (saw) said: "I swear that a miscarried child of mine I send forth before me is more beloved to me than [raising] a mounted knight that survives me." Ibn Majah from Abu Hurayra.


Fortitude with faith and surrender with rida - absolute acceptance - through losing a child require inordinate strength of character because SABR carries huge reward and its difficulty means even more reward. "And whoever yatasabbaru (=is racked trying to endure in patience), Allah will grant them SABR, and none was ever given a greater gift than SABR." In the Five Books. Hence the magnificent, tremendous Aya states {Verily the sabirun will receive a reward without measure} (39:10).


The Prophet said, upon him peace: "The Believer is not tried by fatigue nor illness nor anxiety nor difficulty nor harm nor distress - not even by a thorn that pricks them except Allah Most High erases some sins with it!" Al-Bukhari and Muslim.


Peace,
Salihah
posted by:
Salihah
Virginia
Advertisement
  • Unsu...
     

    Re: Miscarriage in Light of Islam

    Mon, March 12, 2007 - 1:02 PM
    May Allah make it easy for you.

    This is something that I've found to be more common than I thought. The mother of my students had two miscarriages before having four children.

    Something random but related is that if a Muslim woman dies during childbirth, she dies as a martyr.
    • Re: Miscarriage in Light of Islam

      Mon, March 12, 2007 - 1:12 PM
      "Something random but related is that if a Muslim woman dies during childbirth, she dies as a martyr."

      Subhanallah, that is a blessing. Thank you for sharing that, too. It is also said, that when a woman gives birth, because of her pain and toil for the baby, all her prior sins are forgiven. Then also, if the baby dies, she receives paradise.

      And to add to that now with what you said, if the mother dies, not only does she receive paradise, but she also dies a martyr.

      Even in difficulty, especially in difficulty, Allah is Most Merciful. It is odd to say, in a earthly sense, but I have not felt as much peace as I feel today, right now. I am in awe of the Creator, Most Gracious, that comforts us as nothing else.

      Alhamdulillah.

      Jazakallah khair brother for your post.
  • Re: Miscarriage in Light of Islam

    Mon, March 12, 2007 - 10:53 PM
    Terrible to hear Salihah,

    Hope you can find strength in your faith and belief!
    • Unsu...
       

      Re: Miscarriage in Light of Islam

      Tue, March 13, 2007 - 12:18 AM
      *Allah loved something and I love what Allah loved.*
      That is beautiful and thank you for sharing this post with all of us.
      Allah blessed you with beautiful children and I hope the path you are on will become become easier and that you know we all are standing behind you.
      Do you (or anybody else out here) know what is said about having children? Of course children are considered a blessing (and should be, smile) but does it say anything about how Muslims should have large families if it is possible to do so? I have heard Muslims say it is their obligation to have as many children as possible. I am not sure if they say that out of their personal desire and love for a large family or if it is said somewhere in the Qur'an to do so?
      ;)
      • Unsu...
         

        Re: Miscarriage in Light of Islam

        Tue, March 13, 2007 - 1:41 AM
        I just listened to a lecture this morning that mentioned having a lot of children. This is something that Muslims are supposed to do.

        From Shaykh Albaani-

        ADVICE FOR THE NEWLY-MARRlED HUSBAND:

        1. The Sunnah is to say to them in congratulations:

        Baarakallahu laka wa baaraka 'alaika wajama'a bainakuma fi kheir and not use the congratulations of Jaahiliyyah.

        2. Also from the Sunnah for the one wishing to marry is to seek a wife whom it is thought will provide many children, as he (S) said "Marry the beloved who have many children, because I will vie through you with the nations on the Day of Resurrection."

        3. Family Planning/Birth Control: It is something introduced amongst the Muslims by their enemies and it is from the Unbelievers and weakens the strength of the Muslims. The idol-worshipping people will perhaps fall into this, but the Muslims should be far from it and from this plan to weaken them.

        The Muslim marries as a means of nearness to Allaah, as the Messenger (S) said "O youths, he amongst you who is able, then let him marry for it is better for withholding the gaze and better for the private parts and he who is not able - then let him fast - for it is a shield for him."

        And the Muslim is rewarded for fulfilling his desire - as is shown in the clear hadeeth: that when a poor companion came to the Messenger (S) and spoke of the rich and the Messenger (S) replied "Verily there is for you in every 'tasbeeh' sadaqah and in every 'tahmeed' sadaqah and in every 'takbeer' sadaqah and in every 'tahleel' sadaqah and ordering good is sadaqah, and forbidding evil is sadaqah and repairing relations between two people is sadaqah and in the sexual intercourse of one of you is sadaqah." They said: "Does one of us fulfilling his desire receive reward for it?" He (S) said "Yes, if he did that in what is forbidden then would he not be sinful?" They said: Yes, O Messenger of Allaah." So he (S) said "Then likewise if he does that in what is permissible then he receives reward."

        So when the Muslim marries - he does not only fulfill his desire but also carries out Allaah's orders.

        Furthermore, by marrying he intends to increase the side of the Ummah.

        Further, he intends if he is granted children to bring them up and train them - and they will after his death be a source of good for him. The hadeeth: "When the son of Adam dies his actions are cut off except for three: a recurring charity, or knowledge from which benefit is derived or a pious son who supplicates for him."

        Further, if he has children and they die young - then there is for him reward for that - Paradise.

        Therefore the Muslim who marries and has children - either they outlive him and make du'aa for him - or they die before him and he is promised Paradise; hadeeth of the Messenger (S): "There are no two [married] Muslims - of whose children - three die except that the Fire will not touch them - except for the oath (see Sooratul-Maryam aayah 71 to 72) causes that." They said: "And two, O Messenger of Allaah?" He said "And two." His Companions said, so that we thought that if we were to say "And one?" that he would say "And one."

        So this practice is a practice of the Unbelievers having no connection with Islaam and does not befit the intellect of the Muslim who lives for Allaah and lives with his children as righteous worshippers of Allaah - and that their rewards may be written in his record and his wife's, and that if they die early - then Allaah has promised Paradise for the parents - and that the Fire will not harm them.
        • Re: Miscarriage in Light of Islam

          Tue, March 13, 2007 - 2:02 AM


          if u dont have sources of income then why u produce more children ? more children is simple mathematic more hand needs roti. educaiton.
          i am born to muslims parent i have 3 childrens all are post graduate expecting one wil do PhD. we dont want bangladesh. rag picking in india. i think they hatch eggs. dogs and childrens are naked in slum

          i read many such lectures.

          we indian need education and prosperity
          • Unsu...
             

            Re: Miscarriage in Light of Islam

            Tue, March 13, 2007 - 7:25 AM
            "if u dont have sources of income then why u produce more children ? more children is simple mathematic more hand needs roti."

            This is the problem with the Muslims of today. Allah GUARANTEES that you and your children will be provided for, yet the Muslims lack of faith in Him following up on His part of the bargain causes them to think that they know better than Allah. And therefore go 'we can't afford to have any more children'
            • Unsu...
               

              Re: Miscarriage in Light of Islam

              Tue, March 13, 2007 - 7:53 AM
              So no Muslim child has ever died of starvation or poverty? Or is the understanding rather that even if they suffer, God takes care of them spiritually?
          • Re: Miscarriage in Light of Islam

            Sat, March 17, 2007 - 12:51 PM
            "if u dont have sources of income then why u produce more children ?"

            This is a personal decision. In the US we have health care and my children do not starve or suffer. But we are poor and we do not take handouts, we work hard. And we have more children because they are a gift, an amazing untold miracle. I was told I would never be able to have children because of a medical condition. Allah knows best. He gave my husband and I six (3 in Jannah, 3 in our home). I am just 27 years old, I am young, yet I have experienced something so amazing, my life is forever changed. And it is from my children, my husband....from Allah.

            I do not have children to raise post graduate PhDs, Zain, I raise children to love God, love their neighbor, and to submit to peace in Islam. When we are all dead and gone, a phd means nothing. My family is no failure simply because we have little income. Our children are joyous and happy and healthy. They are a joy to me and to those that know them, masha'Allah. It is all by Allah, and He alone will judge if I was wrong to bring them to this world.
        • Unsu...
           

          Re: Miscarriage in Light of Islam

          Tue, March 13, 2007 - 5:06 AM
          Ah, thanks for sharing that! I was really curious about this subject and on how contraceptives play a role in this.
          I just read an article today by concidence, an email group that I subscribe to that sends newsletters every now and then. It was about Yemeni women and discussions on contraceptives, childbirth, access to health care, etc.
          This could be a good topic..I am not sure if I should keep this in this thread or start a new one? I don't want to get sidetracked from the original post ?
        • Unsu...
           

          Re: Miscarriage in Light of Islam

          Tue, March 13, 2007 - 7:55 AM
          Q: Who is Shaykh Albaani, and are all Muslims supposed to listen to him? I'm not sure what Shaykh means actually but I have seen that term around. I guess the root of my question is, who grants authority to such people, and over whom do they have authority? Are their interpretations of the law inerrant, or could there be mistakes? And do different Shaykhs? authorities? ever disagree?
          • Unsu...
             

            Re: Miscarriage in Light of Islam

            Tue, March 13, 2007 - 8:21 AM
            You guys...I started a different thread for this topic go to *The Muslim Family* thread. I just feel it would be better to discuss this there.
            Thanks!
  • Re: Miscarriage in Light of Islam

    Tue, March 13, 2007 - 9:52 AM
    I am so sorry for your loss.

    I think in Japan, there is a special sort of graveyard for early babies that don't make it. I wish there was something like that here, since parents have no pictures, and no place for mourning miscarriages.

    And you are brave to talk about your loss...I know it helps others, even though it must be difficult for you.
  • This post was deleted by (unknown)
    • Re: Miscarriage in Light of Islam

      Sat, March 17, 2007 - 12:45 PM
      Thank you everyone, jazakallah khair. My baby was born on Tuesday night. Tiny and beautiful, masha'Allah. I cried terrible tears until he came and then I my tears turned to peace because I held my baby and I knew his soul was in Jannah, and the words of the Prophet, pbuh, say that my children hold to me from there with their umbilical cord. The birth, the burial, such rolling feelings, but overall, an incredible peace was given to me. I am forever changed by the mercy of Allah to me through this experience. Subhanallah.

      Salihah
      • Re: Miscarriage in Light of Islam

        Sat, March 17, 2007 - 12:51 PM
        "if u dont have sources of income then why u produce more children ?"

        This is a personal decision. In the US we have health care and my children do not starve or suffer. But we are poor and we do not take handouts, we work hard. And we have more children because they are a gift, an amazing untold miracle. I was told I would never be able to have children because of a medical condition. Allah knows best. He gave my husband and I six (3 in Jannah, 3 in our home). I am just 27 years old, I am young, yet I have experienced something so amazing, my life is forever changed. And it is from my children, my husband....from Allah.

        I do not have children to raise post graduate PhDs, Zain, I raise children to love God, love their neighbor, and to submit to peace in Islam. When we are all dead and gone, a phd means nothing. My family is no failure simply because we have little income. Our children are joyous and happy and healthy. They are a joy to me and to those that know them, masha'Allah. It is all by Allah, and He alone will judge if I was wrong to bring them to this world.
        • Re: Miscarriage in Light of Islam

          Sat, March 17, 2007 - 12:54 PM
          My point is...we have health care, we have food, we have an apartment home. Our children do not suffer because we do not have fancy cars or even a house to live in.

          If we have children, that is between Allah and my husband and I. And for Him alone to judge. Each of my children is a blessing amazingly to me. A miracle to my life. I am forever grateful to Allah, for my children born alive and my children born already in Jannah.
  • Re: Miscarriage in Light of Islam

    Tue, January 27, 2009 - 7:27 PM
    My baby died at 12 weeks. It had somewhat human like features, but it wasnt completely formed. I was reading your post and felt little confused. I would like to know if my situation would still apply under that what you have said (baby going to jannah) or is that only for a miscarriage child who is fully formed and angels have blown a soul in the baby?

Recent topics in "~True Islam~"

Topic Author Replies Last Post
Just checking in! أنا Ayah 0 June 2, 2011
Muslim/Non-Muslim Relations: Commonly Misunderstood Qur'anic T... Unsubscribed 0 January 24, 2011
Eid Mubarak! أنا Ayah 4 September 14, 2010
When Islamic atheism thrived tuk tuk 12 September 6, 2010